_ the (beautiful) burden of ideas_
I've had ideas work out, and I've had ideas fail. Whatever happens, I'll have more ideas in the future... and some of those will fail and others will open into new worlds for me.
This week I stepped into my forth year of podcasting, Season 4 of the Creative People Podcast kicked off with a great convo with KW artist, Trevor Clare.
I had a really great time talking with Trevor - you can check out here.
At the beginning of the episode, I talk briefly about my desire to find my own work. Last week I also blogged about the Plays, which have lit up my life, and are part of the creative work I want to do with my life.
It's funny how ideas work, most go nowhere. But some get their own life. You find yourself still working on them 4 years later.
I've said it before, the podcast changed my life. It opened my world, changed how I thought about people... not to mention how I interacted with them. It has helped mature my creativity and taught me so many little things that have added to my whole life.
But something was wrong, and I've spent the last 6 months starting to fix it.
The podcast is about creativity, obviously. But it's through the lens of other people's work. That's how it was built and I have no interest in changing that. It's the work of others, all connected from different types of work that makes the podcast so interesting. And that's great for the podcast, but it's not enough for me as a creative. As an... artist. (cringe)
The podcast can't be my only work, I needed something for myself.
Here’s what I got:
6 months ago I started writing a novel for an idea I've kept as a pet in my mind for years. I have also written a Zine, which is (fingers crossed) coming out in the next few weeks. I also have another podcast idea that's starting to get it's own gravity.
But fuck, I've been a ball of anxiety and imposter syndrome about them. But like, why?
I've had ideas work out, and I've had ideas fail. Whatever happens, I'll have more ideas in the future... and some of those will fail and others will open into new worlds for me.
But my mind (that bastard) will say stuff like this:
"Who do you think you are?"
"What are they going to think of you"
"What if they think you can't do it"
"What if they are right?"
This is the less romantic part of the creative life... ideas fail. We are drawn and inspired to try, but there is never any guarantee it’ll work. It's why most people don't really try. Putting yourself on the line, saying your going to make something and then making it... put you on the line.
Being on the line is uncomfortable. But you know what's more uncomfortable, not doing the stuff that's inside of you to do.
It takes time, and courage. Self awareness, self confidence and humility. It takes resilience because it can be a slog.
But it's also the best.
Because when it works, and an idea turns into something. Big or small... it's magic.
And it's the magic I'll be chasing for the rest of my life.
- Ryan Leacock