a work of my own
What is a “Shadow Career” and why is it so easy to get stuck there?
For the last few years, I had done very little creative work of my own.
Six years ago, I had a creative partnership go sideways and then hit the wall, crashing my creative work with it.
Before that, I had a made a really cool-looking app that got some attention but didn't really sell and is now obsolete - it was made for the iPad 4 and as of this writing, they’re at iPad 11. Updates to the iOS rendered my work obsolete.
I was a creative with no work.
So then, four years ago, I started a podcast and started making stuff again.
But I wasn't making stuff for me. I was making stuff for them... for the podcast, for the guests of the podcast, and to promote the podcast. It was work, and it was creative, but it wasn't my work.
In one of his many books, Stephen Pressfield describes a concept he calls "Shadow Careers." A Shadow Career is work in the shadow of the thing you really want to do.
So think, for example of someone who wants to be filmmaker but settles for a youtube channel where he reviews movies.
It’s basically anything you can do that gets you close to the thing you want - but without the risk of the thing you really want to do.
And that's where I was - for the last handful of years. Doing something creative and rewarding in the shadows of the work I really wanted to do.
The work that was inside of me to do.
When I started the Creative People Podcast, I remember telling people that it was because my creativity was a dog inside of me and it was eating my visceral couch. I needed to give it an activity or it would eat me alive, and that was certainly true.
Likewise, may it also be said that in no way am I crapping on the podcast or my work there. It was work I wanted to do, and am glad I did. I love the podcast and the 120 episodes I’ve made. It changed my life and I can’t wait to make more but you need to understand it isn’t My Work.
My Work had hurt me, My Work had disappointed me. My Work led to me almost losing a long-time friend, and my work was a dream that didn't pan out. My work had broken parts of my heart.
There is safety in a Shadow Career - and it’s was the best place for me while I healed. But eventfully it wasn’t enough, and I was too scared to try again.
Pointing to other people's work felt good and safer. It's like saying, "Hey, I made this thing - but you should be interested because it's about something you already like - or you should like it."
Rather than, "Hey, I made this thing and you might like it or you may not. But I felt like I was supposed to make it, and so I did. I think it's pretty good so I'm going to put it out there."
I believe that creativity is always an act of bravery, even more so when you're making your own work - because you put your whole self on the line.
So this year, I started again. I started building a body work - a work of my own.
I found a medium that matched my skill set, I found a market for my work and I made 2 Zines. 2 complete projects that are my work. I sold them on etsy and a zine fair - I got out of my comfort zone and I did the work I felt I was supposed to do.
And now, at the end of the year - I feel a peace I haven’t felt other years. And it’s with this feeling, that I am excited to head into 2024. I want to keep doing my work, and I hope this blog encouraged you to join me.
- Ryan Leacock
Ryan Leacock is a designer, writer and actor who's worked in a variety of creative fields and expressions. He's written short films, commercials, blogs and has just published his second collection of original writings. Ryan has designed apps. websites and hundreds of signs at his 9-5.
Ryan has nearly finished his 4th year hosting the Creative People Podcast, which he self-produces a few times a month.
He currently lives in Kitchener, Ontario with his wife, 4 kids, 1 dog and 2 cats.